Yo Mama's So Ugly

-she put the Boogie man outta business.



-she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt.



-when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already...".



-when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'.



-she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!.



-minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her...".



-they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.



-when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!



-yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...



-she put Marilyn Manson out of business.



-she was a guard at Snake Mountainthey knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...



-even Harry Knowles refused to date her.



-they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!



-she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.



-Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.



-you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.



-she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.



-we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.



-I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.



-her shadow gave up.



-people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...



-her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.



-when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.



-hotel managers use her picture to keep away the Rats.



-instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.



-they gave her a middle name...'accident'.



-she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.



-when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!



-even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...



-when she was born the Doc smacked her face.