Yo Mama's So Fat

-when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

-she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

-folk exercise by jogging around her!

-when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

-she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy.

-she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

-NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.

-she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...small objects orbit her.

-she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

-when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

-when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

-she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

-when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

-she could be the eighth continent.

-she nearly put Safeway out of businessthe only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

-her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

-when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

-she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

-her fave food is seconds.her belt size is Equator.

-she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lidshe wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on hershe shows up on radar.

-she needs a map to find her butt.

-she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

-she wears an asteroid belt.

-her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

-she has TB ... 2 bellys.

-she's once, twice, three times a lady.

-she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

-the circus use her as a trampoline.

-stunt agencies use her as an air mattress.

-when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

-she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen.

-she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

-she deep fries her toothpaste.

-So fat she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt!

-Yo Momma so fat, they call her WIDE 2K!

-Yo Momma so fat, she lays in the driveway to put on her underwear.

-Yo Momma so fat, when the house burned down we had to use her underwear for a tent.

-Yo Momma so fat, her picture takes two frames.

-Yo Momma so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

-Yo Momma so fat, she could sell shade.

-Yo Momma so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

-Yo Momma so fat, people jog around her for exercise.

-Yo Momma so fat, we ran around her twice and got lost.

-Yo Momma so fat, I gotta take ten steps back just to see all of her.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.Y

-o Momma so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

-Yo Momma so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

-Yo Momma so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.

-Yo Momma so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.